Balance Within Resistance

Balance. For many people this seems to be ever elusive. What does it mean to have balance in one’s life when there are *so many things* to do? Between possible family responsibilities and professional obligations, how does one find time for themselves?

And in those perhaps seemingly rare instances when one does find themselves with some time, how is that time spent?

This is the situation in which I currently find myself. For the last few days, I have felt an unbearable urge to create something solely for myself- be it art, music, or some form of written output. (As a music therapist, most of my music-making is spent on creating therapeutic experiences for other people.)

Yet… a wall of excuses come up whenever I sit down and attempt to create something, including these old tried and true chestnuts: “I’m too tired” or “There are other things that I *should* be doing.” And of course, these “other things” almost ALWAYS revolve around work. Can anyone else relate to this?

Engaging with these excuses brings about a battle of resistance in which I can feel myself staying up in my head- reluctant to move down into my body, deep into my heart where the underlying emotions lie. From here I ask myself, “What is it that is resistant to being expressed?”

When I breathe into this question and begin to track and journal my thoughts without judgement, I recognize that I’m using these excuses to distract me from identifying for myself what it is that would help bring me back into balance. Isn’t it curious how many times we are reluctant to do those things which could help us feel better?

Presently, I haven’t come up with a definitive answer about any one particular activity that would bring me back to center, but rather I’ve been engaging in little things- writing this post, vocalizing, breathing, enjoying household silence… simply being. Together, all of these things help bring me back a little closer to the center- to a place that allows me to see things from a deeper, clearer perspective.

What are some things that you do to bring yourself into balance? How do you recognize when you’re out of balance? Please share your thoughts in the comments below.




7 responses to “Balance Within Resistance”

  1. Sunny Avatar

    “Isnt it curious how many times we are reluctant to do those things which could help us feel better?” I have felt the same thing, I never understood it. I get stomach aches and headaches when I’m not in balance. Like with exercise. I feel so good afterwards but when I get in a depressive rut I put it off, when in fact it’s the one of the best things to combat depression. Great blog post and I am enjoying your other ones too.

    1. Faith Avatar

      Thanks, Sunny. We humans are interesting creatures! Are you finding a flow for staying in balance for yourself?

  2. Sunny DeClute Avatar
    Sunny DeClute

    Not yet. I still feel unbalanced. I can’t seem to get back into exercise, when I try I feel to stiff. I feel that I need to relax enough to let the energy flow. I feel blocked as of late. So many life changes, maybe that’s why. I’m thinking of having two days a month where I practice silence as to turn inward. I’m reading a very good book by Anne LeClair called, “Listening Below the Noise”.

    1. Faith Avatar

      Sorry to hear that. Feeling unbalanced, blocked, and stiff can be difficult to see through. Not that you asked for advice or suggestions, but sometimes I find toning a vowel or just making some sort of authentic sound can be helpful in feeling more grounded and in creating some more internal space- although silence can also be helpful in those ways, too. “Listening Below the Noise” sounds like an interesting book; I’ll have to check it out. Thanks for sharing.

      1. Sunny Avatar

        Faith, any advice or suggestions are very welcome! Thanks for your suggestion. I’m also reading “Medical Meditation and they talk about how sounds can realign the body. I find it very interesting and plan on starting a meditation practice.

        1. Faith Avatar

          Very nice. What kinds of sounds does the author suggest?

          I find that it’s helpful to have a “toolkit” of different mindfulness practices available to use, depending on my mood at the time. Here’s a post I wrote on the blog for my private practice, SoundWell Music Therapy, about toning:

          and creativity:

          1. Sunny Avatar

            Different chanting and such. The book is called “Meditation as Medicine” by Dharma Singh Khalsa. Thanks for the links. I will check them out. 🙂